God’s decree surpasses all human’s planning. Thus, many times your life takes a sudden turning without forewarning. Death is one of His many decrees that nobody can predict.
What do you do when death summons someone you love? Your life suddenly changes. You turn to your left. You turn to your right. Everyone and everything do not interest you. Your body feels so light, almost like you are floating. You do not feel the ground beneath your feet. You feel a little confused. Your mind does not want to think. It stops at that one thought – has that person really gone and never coming back? Your brain does not want to process this piece of information. You get stuck in that hollow space and time stands still. Even walking in a crowded place, you just do not feel a thing. Total shock engulfs you. Then, a voice in your heart speaks, “That person did not leave, but only returned to the Creator.” Your Imaan wakes you up. You remember. Every living being belongs to Allah…body and soul. Innalillahi wainna ilaihi roji’un…indeed to Allah we belong and to Him we return.
La hawla wala quwwata illa billahi…there is neither power nor ability save by Allah. You start to feel the surrounding. Your brain has finally registered the loss. You have finally accepted the death. Learn to live with it. Redha. A string of events you last shared with that person floods your mind. Tears have arrived and perhaps they will stay with you for some time. You cry, cry and cry. You are not alone. Allah is with you. Cry and let the person go. Let him or her go with absolute sincerity – ikhlas. Allah will never leave you alone for He loves you more than you know.
Tears become your companion. Islam says three days only to grieve but do tears know when to stop? No matter how hard you hold them in, they will fill your eyes… blocking your sight. Relenting, you close your eyes to let all the tears stream down. They flow from both corners of your eyes warming your cheeks. At no prescribed time, no prescribed place, the smallest thing can trigger your mind to that person. Your brain automatically retrieves pieces of your shared moments with him or her. Again, you cry. Remember! You are not alone. Allah is with you for always. Turn to Him.
Being a Muslim, part of our faith is to believe that a Believer is never let to live his or her life without tests from Allah. Redha and sabr are the pills to take at times like this. You need loads of them to persevere. Keep yourself close to Allah and ask for strength from Him to proceed with your life. No matter how hard it is for you, your life must go on.
How do you cope with living without someone whom Allah has sent into your life to act as a pillar of hope, giving you moral support in things you do? Someone who has been there for you all this while? Someone who said to you, “I’m so blessed to have you as my friend”? To others, the world is short of one person now. But, that person is more than a part that completes the whole. Allah knows what’s in your heart. He knows your pain. He knows the loss you feel. Allah brings two hearts together to show his Greatness. He is the One that makes that person touch your life. Allah loaned this person to you and He has taken that person back. He owns you and that person. Thank Allah. Say ‘alhamdulillah’ for the blessing of knowing that person, even for a short time.
Be strong. Do not drown yourself in sadness. Fight to live! Take the Quran. Read, read and read. Keep it close to you. Remember you still have to complete this long journey. Please Allah and have faith in Him. Obey Him. Do not displease Him. Seek His help to live with Imaan and be steadfast until He calls you to return to Him. Always say this du’a:
Allahummakhtim lana bi husnil khotimah!
Allahummakhtim lana bi husnil khotimah!
One who yearns to meet Allah, Allah yearns to meet him or her. Keep the moments you have shared with that person, the good and the bad. The moments that made you laugh with him, angry at him, cry because of him, smile at his silly acts, worry for his well-being or scared for his life. Remember not to live in those moments now. They are your past with him. The past that Allah has bestowed upon you. Those past moments are for kept. May Allah reunite you with your loved ones in Jannah. Aameen, ya Rabb al ‘alamin.
To my dear sahabah (r.a), thank you for that final moment, visiting me with Allah’s permission. Alhamdulillah! Allah made me understand it later that you actually came. I will forever remember that precious moment. I will never see you again in this life. Insha Allah, Allah will allow us to meet again in the next life just like He did when He placed us in a true friendship for more than a year. Rest in peace my dear sahabah.
“O’ Allah, forgive my sahabah. Make him among the guided ones, raise his rank among those who are rightly guided, and be the Caretaker of his grieving loved ones. O’ Sustainer of the universe, forgive us and him and make his grave spacious for him and grant him light in it.”